Campaigning for the rights of Grandparent carers and all Kinship carers in the U.K.
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If you are in dispute re custody or one of the parents of a child trying to take the child away ... then go to this web page there is lots of info and help to be found through the various links... there is info on CAFCASS reports ...shared residence fostering ....lots of fact sheets and there is also a link called grandparents rights with lots of up to date news on what is going on etc well worth a visit so take a look
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/21.html
all the best beatie xxxxxxxxxxxx
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i am new to this,my grandchildren have lived with me for 7 months, i have had custody for 3 months, now my daughter is takin me to court,to get access to the children, my daughter went away for the weekend last june, and never came back, when she did come for a visit she made it clear she did`nt want the children. im still not sure of what my rights are, i would be gratefull for any advice,
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Dear Donna I havent had my grandkids long about 5months and my daughter just went for a few days but didnt come back... then last month she called insisting on taking them out and visiting them so i went to the social services and they told me to get a residence order which i did they helped me get it and it didnt cost me anything.... the residence order stops her from taking the kids away... but she can still visit ... but if the visits upset the kids they can be supervised by a social worker or they can be stopped ... I think you need to go to either a solicitor as if you are on benefits it wont cost you anything ..or go to the childrens department and ask to see a social worker.. if the social srvices think that the children are better of with you then they will help you.. hope this bit of advice helps love Trixie x
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Hi Donna If you have custody of your grandchildren for example a residence order or you have been appointed their guardian then your daughter cant take the children from you if she is going to court to ask for access to see the children it all depends on if the children want to see her.... as the court can appoint a cafcas officer who talks to the children asking them what they want ... My daughter took me to court and she was granted once a fortnight supervised access that means that she doesnt come to my house she has to go to a childrens centre then i take the children to see her they are there for two hours... but sometimes daughter doesnt turn up as I asked for 9:30 to 11:30 on a saturday morning ...well shes a heavy drinker and this doesnt suit her... so because she has missed so many i have been back to court and it has now been put to once a month.... I suppose it all depends on your circumstances and also your daughters... you say that she doesnt want the kids permenant she just wants to see them.. well again it depends on if she is not on scam or alcohol or is violent or the children are scared of her etc etc every case is different... mostly the daughters drag you through court to get the children back and thats hell.... if i can think of anything else will post you ta ta sallyxxxxxxxx
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my daughter wants access with a view to gettin the children back, she doest drink or take scam as far as i know, both my grandchildren have medical problums, and are under various hospitals,, i just feel ill at the thought ov her getin them back. they have a proper lovin settled home with us, she seems to think she has done nothin wrong and can come back and pick up where she left off, i do have a solictor, but social services will not get involved while i have the children because they are not at any risk. i will fight for the children, but will the courts give her another chance, if she did get them back i know it wouldnt be long befor she left them again. but why should they and us have to go through all the trauma
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We are Indian Grandparents and we also have a daughter that does the same as yours We went to court and got a residence order this means the children must reside with us and she can not take them away the only thing she can do is have access maybe once a week or less .our daughter only has access for two hours in a supervised place as we dont want her to come to the house so she goes to a childrens centre she has two hours with them. Lately the eldest child (13) does not want to go so we got a cafcas officer from social services who wrote a report and now she doesnt have to go at all.If the children dont want to see her you must go to the social services and tell them or your solicitor as he can get a cafcass officer through the court.Have you got a residence order as this is the first thing to get will write to you again Jasmin x
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i have a residence order, but because she has decided she wants the children back i dont know where i stand, my solictor thinks it will all be ok but to be honest it is worring the life out of me. the fact she might get them back. and where my grandchildren are so young they cant make a decision about seein her or not. it really is a minefield.
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i have a residence order, but because she has decided she wants the children back i dont know where i stand, my solictor thinks it will all be ok but to be honest it is worring the life out of me. the fact she might get them back. and where my grandchildren are so young they cant make a decision about seein her or not. it really is a minefield.
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Dear Donna Please dont worry you have a residence order and your solicitor says it will be ok and he should know the children are settled with you the most she will get is access.
So trite as it sounds try not to worry and keep us posted
I know what you are going through ive gone through it several times and ive still got the kids so I am sure everything will be alright
do take care of yourself love Sally x
Last edited by sally (2010-02-11 19:25:01)
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Dear Donna Sally is right worrying wont help make sure you have a good solicitor. Has your daughter got a dcent house or flat ??? is she a good mother??? can she cope??? these are the questions that will be asked : If your solicitor says that he thinks everything will be ok it will be they usually know the outcome::: If your daughter just upped and left the kids thats not the sign of a good caring mum.plus the children are settled and happy with you so I agree with Sally she will probably get some access as she will have to prove to the court that she is settled and is in a permenant place and it will have to be checked and a social worker will have to do a report so take sallys advice dont worry it will all be ok in the end see you soon love from Jennyxxxxxxxxxxx
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thankyou all for your support and reassuarance. i will try and a keep a lid on the worring. as far as i know my daughter is livin in a flat, with the fella she left her children for. but she tells so many lies its hard to believe anything she says... im just worried she will get them back. my grandaughter is 3and 5 months, and the baby has just turned 1, so they really dont have a say. my daughter seems to be of the attitude that she has done nothin wrong. are they all like that? do they all blame us, my daughter has put all the blame on me, and all i`ve done is loved and cared for my grandchildren.
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Hi Donna just read all the above and I dont think youve anything to worry about first shes only in a flat and with a fellow thats not the kids dad, and yes they all blame us were good enough to dump their kids on but somehow were to blame for their screwed up lives thats the way they are My daughter blames me for everything yet lately has admitted that the kids are better of with me she did get them back once and made another mess of it so I took her to court and got them back I think I will tell my story on the new forum so you will be able to read it anywat Donna keep your chin up wve all been there but got through it will be thinking bout you love Pam x x x x
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a quick Update, i was at court today, i still have the children, my daughter got access,[ which i never denied her anyway], the access has to be at my sister~in~laws house, because i am violent to her so she dont feel safe. she has told compleat lies about the situation, i have to go back to court in 8 weeks, and in that time she should see them 3 times, for a total of 9 hours, her choice. she has to have a medical and ss report. and she intends to move them from where we are to a place 100 miles away. where she has no family or support, just a lazy boyfriend. so i still dont know where i stand
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Dear Donna Told you that you would still have the children and told you not to worry shes bund to lie and lie they all do so she only has a few visits in 8 weeks thats not good on her part it means they dont really trust her and as for her moving them she has to get them first and she has to have reports done that may not be good try not to worry we are all behind you you are not alone are you on face book there are loads of kinship carers chat places let me know ta ta sally x x x x
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thanks sally, i was so upset that she could lie like that in court, she wont see the children in my house, she, asked to visit at my brothers home. so i have to take the children there, im not allowed to be there either. she did want to take the children for the weekend, and then 6 hour visit, which were both refused, but the reason its only 3 visits is because she said thats when she will have money, she also has to have a medical report done on her, is that good ?, and both the children have to have medical reports, can anyone tell me if thats good.
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Donna why dont you go on our facebook site as well You just have to make a facebook site of your own all you do is sign up with your email address and fill in your profile and then find other carers and links to support sites
then you can find lots of other grandparents who have gone through what your going through
So there is a lot of personal support on facebook and you can chat and get answers really quick if not just keep posting here but you can do both
our facebook is
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Grandpare … 687?v=wall
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hello donna its jasmin I think its good that she is having a medical report my daughter had to have one and a social report they werent very good for her. The childrens reports should be fine because you have cared for them well. The court refused her the long visit that also is good an excuse she wont have money is not a good excuse if she really loved the children she could play with them take them to parks walk with them etc I think she will only get access. like my daughter did she has to be settled in a steady and long relationship etc before courts let them have children again so will write to you again till then have faith jasmin
Last edited by Yasmin (2010-03-07 14:00:06)
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linda. i do have the f/b. but dont seem to be able to get into chat, i will keep tryin. thanks to everyone for takin the time to reply to me,
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Dear Donna have you got a face book of your own if you have you just search for grandparents as parents and become a fan you can then search for kinship carers and join them but you have to have a face bok account its easy just put facebook into google then click on register and just register with your email and a password when you have friends joining you a chat box comes up on the bottom right hand corner of yur screen you then see which friends are on line and you can click on them and chat hope this helps Best wishes Linda x
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