Grandparents As Parents

My name is Barry, and I would like to tell my story, perhaps its from a different angle than yours .
For a start the grandchildren are my wifes from her first marriage ,we are both in our early sixties and I was still working   and we lived in a small bungalow we had been married for about four years. My wifes daughter lived about 30 miles away but came and visited every so often with her two children Then she met a guy who was to say the least a bit rough, she asked us to watch the kids while she went away for the week and she just didnt come back. We had the police and everything cos we thought she had been murdered or something. My wife was crying all the time,
As time went by my wife went worst with her nerves and ended up having a breakdown and on tablets. I had to give up work to look after her and the kids (who I had only known for a couple of years )All of a sudden my life was a mess, From our quiet peaceful existence to a life of boys/ toys/ mess /footballs /school runs/untidyness/rows/friction/worry/  : My wife then started drinking and the bit of tranquil life we had left went out of the window.
The boys started being abusive (Like ef off your not my dad  or ef off your not even my grandad) We still had the police popping in especially if they had found someone dead (this made my wife even worse)
A year later the daughter came back on the scene as bold as brass, she didnt want the kids back as she had lost her council house and had nowhere to take them.but she said she  had found a house to let and if we lent her the money and the deposit she would rent it get it straight and come back for the boys. I was very suspicious,but my wife who was so pleased to see her was over the moon and gave her everything, needless to say after she had got all the money we didnt see her again for about six weeks. She came and told my wife a right tale about how she had been robbed and she didnt like to tell us . my wife believed her and gave her more money. By this time I was really fed up of the whole situation but it then went worst. the daughter got a flat not far from us and started to visit the lads and see her mum my wife was really happy but as i said I was uneasy about it all.Another few months went by and now the boys were a lot better with me so I took them everywhere swimming football parks and the zoo. The daughter was always coming round but still wouldnt have the lads back. Then in the news there had been a druguser bust by the police and they had arrested all the gang guess who was in the gang? yes the daughter and she had had another kid who had been placed in care. I tackled my wife about it and she knew she had another child but they kept it a secret. My wife broke down and admitted that she had given the daughter thousands of pounds from our money.
The daughter got five years and we still have the kids the socail services want us to have the other one (Thats to save them £600 a week care costs) but I said no Not until you pay us a proper allowance So we have got a solicitor (more money) and he is fighting our case.
I cant say we are happy as our life has been shattered, and we still have many hurdles in front of us. But were getting through it. The lads are great and even call me dad so cant moan.  wifes a lot better now  I think we have got through the worse but who knows what will happen in the future. I would like to thank all the people on the forum that have supported us and Linda for all her help and advice I dont know how we would have coped without you all so glad to know that there are thousands more like us. Barry and Anne (we've changed our names as we are in the middle of court cases but all you good people who helped and advised us know who we are)